♥ Old times ♥ Old days ♥ Old songs ♥

I couldn't help myself from posting this lyrics to this song.

After ages it's come close to my heart once again.

So let kick back to the ♥ Old times ♥ Old days ♥ Old songs ♥

Here it goes,

SNUFF :)

Bury all your secrets in my skin

Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins

The air around me still feels like a cage

And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go

And run away before I know

My heart is just too dark to care

I can?t destroy what isn't there

Deliver me into my fate

If I'm alone I cannot hate

I don't deserve to have you

Ooh, my smile was taken long ago

If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips

And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss

I couldn't face a life without your lights

But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not care

I think I made it very clear

You couldn?t hate enough to love

Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend

Then I could hurt you in the end

I never claimed to be a saint

Ooh, my own was banished long ago

It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones

And spit your pity in my soul

You never needed any help

You sold me out to save yourself

And I won?t listen to your shame

You ran away, you're all the same

Angels lie to keep control

Ooh, my love was punished long ago

If you still care don't ever let me know

If you still care don't ever let me know

P.S. What am i gonah do with you - EVERYTHING! :)

P.P.S. Kd, for Slipknot is not all that bad after all..

P.P.P.S. Thing song is a forever thing :D

Agr0mania!

Wondering why?

Yes i have this real real real desire to be free, free from all the emotions.

I want to be on my own.

I want to be free from pain, sadness. Well wait all i am doing is just listing synonyms to LOVE.

I do not want to exist anywhere around love.

Well now when i see the 16 year olds walking hand in hand the first thing that troubles the shit out of my lil two bits is, what sort of magic would have brought them together?

It is as incomprehensible to me as a foreign language with different alphabets.

Don't y'all effing lil things know that it's not too much of a fun when you make someone a habit.

Cuz that habit is not gonah be with you forever.

I've come across so many relations and till date haven't found a single one working out.

All i see is the couples cheating on each other at some point of time.

Guy cheating on his girl with the girls best friend.

Girl cheating on her guy fo some stranger who promised to keep her happy.

AND YES OFCOURSE the most common of all cheating someone for ex-lover .. Many more..

And i don't understand like WHY in the world only 'I' had to witness all this..

Well after wasting my time for 2 years and not believing in what i saw around me i finally now have understood, THERE'S NOTHING CALLED AS TRUE LOVE!

People are so paranoid about getting ditched in a way or other by their partner, well why not?

They've earned thier straight ticket to paranoia, Since there nothing left to trust.

Trust is something which takes a long time to develop.

If not for trust i don't think the lil bit of relations out there would have been pulling it off till the end.

And lack of trust just makes love practically impossible.

Even if any miracle takes place, such kind of love is bound to fade away BIG TIME.

Plus to the various factors that add to a relationship -- the DISTRACTION and EXPECTATIONS is what i am talking about.

Well i would rather say that expectations and distractions are directly proportional to each other. HAHA!

Listen to this logic carefully,

When you don't fulfil the expectation there's always someone else to distract your partner who inturn fills the void created by the huge expectations.

And also vice versa, like -- When there's distraction, the expectations shoot up to the maximum level automatically.

Simple it is.

Guys want a variety or they'll leave you.

Well hello how much of a variety your mom was?

It's high time they should try to be a realistic lover.

And also should accept that they can't have everything in this world.

Not only guys, there are girls who'd dessert you if you are broke..

Like i am not even kidding, A friend of mine actually happens to wear guys on her sleeves.

she dusts them off if they can't spend on her.

Well this again is an unrealistic expectation girls have.

I mean your guy generally is of the same age as yours.

If you're studying, so is he.

And in that case HOW on the earth is he supposed to earn for you?

ALSO the few amazing issues that left me hating guys,

one of the chicks who told me how does her one helluva boyfriend, a highly nymphomaniac jerk just uses her for sleeping business.

And that he hits her and takes away all her sallary.

I mean c'mon how paralyzed are you by love that you couldn't leave such a chut.

Other case where the guy drinks and abuses the chick.

Another case where the 19 year old is on the verge of becoming a mom, and her guy has no sense of resposiblity towards her.

Still she craves for that jerk. So blinded by love, aren't you?

Well wait why are we getting into all the complexities of irresponsible people?

You'd never know what do they think about you.

Coming back to the simpler issues,

Lack of understanding ..

Like when you're in love you don't care what the rest of the people think you're.

Only that one persons take on you matters.

Plus when the partner refuses to accept you the way you're, it's damn sad.

You rather should go commit suidcide than planning to stay in the relationship.

Plus Relationship shouldn't be of the kinds where you aren't free to do anything.

If it's costing your freedom, then it obviously isn't worth the efforts.

They should trust you enough to set you free and to let you talk and express your way out.

Too much of crap involved no?

This is the sole reason why i am running away.

I do not want to change myself.

Neither do i want to be disappointed knowing that i am not too efficient for the who-so-ever partner.

Also that i immensely HATE the cheating business.

And i dont think i am much capable of tolerating the no freedom issue.

PLUS i hate math so much that i don't want to deal with the entire distraction & expectation equation..

I'd rather stay alone through out my life, than giving myself away to any random jerk.

P.S. Stay single. Live happy. Die proud.

P.P.S. I know you'd want to say that there are exceptions .. well those exceptions dont really remain exclusive for too long.

P.P.P.S I don't know if it's my imagination or is it for real that i've finally found something worth living for. Contradicts to my post no? But yes MUSIC it is. If not for music i'd be dead by now.

**Plays Brain damage by Pink Floyd**

Brain Damage Lyrics

The lunatic is on the grass The lunatic is on the grass remembering games and daisy chains and laughs got to keep the loonies on the path The lunatic is in the hall the lunatics are in the hall the paper holds their folded faces to the floor and every day the paper boy brings more

full lyrics

more Pink Floyd lyrics

Lights, camera -MOURN! :|

I've started to dislike emotions a lot.

And also that how these emotions just take a toll over you when you're sad.

Just plain and ugly everything seems.

You start thinking everyone's being so unfair.

Everything is so sad.

You wish all that you've lost comes back.

You start missing the moments that once made you laugh.

You ignore everything you have right now.

You focus more on what's gone, and certainly is never coming back.

Ya i am damn sad right now.

And i am feeling like a douche bag.

For everything i just let go.

I could have fought back my parents and would have never got shifted.

Just a small shift of residence, changed everything so drastically.

Crazy new world.

I never thought i'll be living something unusual.

I miss you Radhika, i miss every bit of the daily lukhagiri we did.

I miss every moment that i spent in ghatkopar which are now just memories.

I miss my old home.

All i can cherish is the memory of the pleasure i got when my only love rex; my pet, was around me.

I miss everything about you rex.

I miss every lil fight i had with my childhood friends, every next promise we made to never fight again.

I miss sitting on my usual place in the playground at the wee hours n miss star gazing.

I miss saving that whores not so sexy arse, who happened to break my life into infinite pieces.

I miss not being in the same area as my friends are.

I miss my school, the college - everything.

You wouldn't get the opportunity to read this Maitri, but i miss you ton.

I miss every lil thing about the seema-radhi-maitri trio.

I miss paras's guju accent.

I miss seeing my school friends every weekend.

I hate that i now dont have anything to replace the time of the day i spent with that jerk.

I hate that i fail to see if someone/something's filling the gap.

I hate everything about not seeing my friends for a long time.

I hate all the false promises.

I hate the pretentiousness, people now are so used to.

I hate the every bit of practicality the jerk spoke about.

I hate that everyone's getting over all these moments that i heart - A LOT.

I hate that i am too paralyzed to not get over it.

I hate not being practical.

I hate myself for being so skeptical.

I hate everything about not being able to say what i want to.

P.S. Just avoid the post. It's sadness :|

P.P.S. ...............

P.P.P.S .....................................

He was wronged.. :(

THIS SEXY MAN WAS WRONGED HE SHOULD BE LIVING

Something that kills me inside every time i read.

This is Kurt Cobain's suicide note. As with all rock stars there are conspiracy theories running wild, in Cobain's case the story goes that his wife Courtney Love had him murdered and the note is not a suicide note. Cobain never mentions his own death.

To Boddah:
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community had proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy,

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!

P.S. YOU WILL BE MISSED, FOREVER <3

(O)kay Dee(p) Shit!

Seema i have a problem socializing"

Hahaha! As if i din't figure that out the very first, no actually the second time when i met you :P

Okay figured out? not yet!

yes Kd i am bloggin about you today :D

LUJAR! when you said. "Seema, blog about me" i took it seriously then and there, though i pretended not to.
thats how nice i am :p

Okay people you should know it's Kd  A.K.A. Sumedh

1) When you see a guy from far far away whose wearing a Porcupine Tree (Gimme the tee & the discography!)

2) When someone stays with you on text day in and day out. Nothing makes him go away -_- jeez!

3) When you see someone sitting quietly in the corner, having beer & watching his friends howl like monkey and in between howling stalk's the girls kissing.. :P

4) When you receive lyrics as a text message..

5) When you see Aakash shetty going down on one knee for someone..

6) When you see someone getting hospitalized for getting thrown away while moshing with Afaque :D

7) When you see someone lie on a bar counter getting seduced by Soham with an ice cube :)) Jeez! His fantasy stories!

8) When you start getting pelar posts on your wall saying "tu cheez badi hai mast mast" :P

9) When you hear a guy talking more than very often about a hot chick he haven't even met :D

10) When you hear someone announcing every now and then that he now has a SLIGHT Beer Belly

11) When you meet a guy who thinks that dentists just stick their tongues in patients mouth..

12) When you come across a guy who's took an oath to not drink with Seema again because of the fear that she'd start pulling out teeth.

13) When you come across a guy who's demanding romantic conditions for getting raped by his so called hot chick :/

14) When you don't get the discography you'd once requested for..

15) When you come across someone who calls you awesome for the Hershey's you gave him which he loses after an hour. -_-

16) When you see someone quoting "You do not listen to music when with friends" after disconnecting Seema's ear plugs =x (seema gets pissed - *punches*)

17) When you see a third eye blind guy calling himself THE awesomeness .. *i mean WTF! everybody knows thats me :/

18) When you come across a wannabe dork.

19) When you come across a guy who has taste buds for Metal only.. (Yes he loves Gold, copper, iron, silver Blah blah.. And PORCUPINE TREE which stands as the only exception so far)

20) When you hear words like "BAAPNESS" , "TODU" , "CHAL EH, CHAL" more then very often..

21) When you come across a guy who would add into your most random hypothetical talks, as if he shared that figment of imagination with you.

22) When you come across a guy who had special appetite for Maggi  until last month.. Bwhahaha xD *ahem ahem*

23) When you share a secret & the lil jerk threatens to disclose the secret in public.

24) When you come across a guy who prefers to dream about Aakash running aound trees, laughing and jumping in rain..

25) When you come across this versatile guy who was with Ankit last weekend and is now with aki and dreams of a fling with soham.

26) When you hear someone alarm you about updating your blog by Saying "Bitch you owe me a post"

27) A person whom Seema is most likely to disown now cuz of making her do such mehnat -_-

No but seriously Kd, thenks for making everything as in life in general a cakewalk :)

Considering the person i was, i never thought i'd be stuk up with a jerk like you.

May every fucking one get a jerk'ish lil non beer belly friend like YOU!

P.S. No offence Aakash I wouldn't do anything to break what you and Kd share

P.P.S. .. Kd, you're SOOOOOOOO missing the LOG concert on 15th of May  (right?!) :-S .. Plijjj miss it!

Lou, SS.

The Evanescent Love.

Well this is for all the craziness i've been doing since i wasn't ready to face the fact that i don't belong to anyone anymore!

So here it goes,

When my friend told me that he's gonah help with my shit ass issue, i couldn't stop the gloom, that engulfed me.. i stood in the second class compartment with the friend constantly drfiting between happiness and sorrow, happiness cuz I was gonah see you & the sorrow cuz i wasn't able to see what hadd become of US! Crying-laughing! I didn't know this could be coming, i din't know that this river NEVER intented to meet the sea ..

There are times i find myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely.. I be much honest to myself that way.. Now, using the simplest words ever, all i would say is i am hurt! Hurt cuz my fondness for the first love and everything i thought it was turned out to be totally wrong, it all went haywire.. And now i am trying to think of a logical solution that could explain what i have just done to myself - LAST SHOT, as i would frame it to be.. A shot that excluded the assumption that i was insane.. Insane cuz despite of knowing the facts, knowing that we're gonah have tough times and it would be hard to mend the trusts that still lies broken & at some point both of us may want to get out of it - But i also knew if i didn't  ask you to be mine, i'll regret it for the rest of my life.. Honestly speaking MAYBE i knew what the reality was. But again, i hate reality - it's way too clear to me..

I found you laugh at me that night, laughing at my helplessness.. Fun to see a girl beg, eh? thats lame of you cuz initially when i started to dislike you, i thought you're not a man but then i figured out that you're not a human being either! I remember every word you said, you said i'll regret this night just cuz i was drunk & didn't know what i was doing.. Drunk- agreed, i was.. But i still was x100 more in sense than you ever were.. I am so angry right now that the heat of my anger should physically burn you.. more than angry i am amused, I was crazy & didn't realize i am confusing my dreams with reality which felt so convinient then.. The last shot - as i framed it earlier - either way, was entirely depended on your decision. Cuz i had made mine, even before i'd consiously chosen it & i was committed.

Well let me not be a diplomat, who juggles and manipulates his statement.. I don't care what you are now and what changed you.. All i know is i loved the man you were, the man whom i loved.. And thinking about then, no one ever tried to adjust with YOU so much cuz no one was so aware of you as i was.. No one watched you the way i did.. No one respected you as much as i did.. But i've decided not to be the miserable one.. Knowing you so much already i have decided to distance myself from you.. Cuz i want to leave intact the LITTLE respect i still have for you.. The more i try, the more i'll learn you & the more you'll lose respect.. And moreover your influence over me, more than pathetic is dangerous.. My bad had i figured you out earlier i would have been able to save my personality from some serious scars..Nevertheless i still can, cuz i know i am WORTH IT!

On a last note i would just say that prosperity is NOT when you measure the love you've received, It's when you love someone regardless the measure! 

P.S. - Life had offered you a dream so far.. and it obviously was beyond any of your expectations.. Don't grieve on them in the future cuz YOU BLEW IT UP

P.P.S. - Friendship is beyond anything, atleast it doesn't require a permission from the GOD's MEN!

P.P.P.S. - **I-AM-WAY-TOO-FUCKING-AWESOME-FOR-YOU!**

Peace out,

** Play's 'I fucking Hate You' by 'Godsmack' And hits on repeat **

Paralyzed creativity!

Half Light

Such a pale light

Such a long night

Pick up that key

Don't drop your gaze in your coffee

Is it me?

Do I look beautiful in the half light?

It's been so long

Years have gone

Since I belonged

Hold me please

Stay with me

And I will sleep

I will go now

But I will be with you

Hold my gaze

Hold me inside you ..

-Porcupine Tree

P.S. I'll post lyrics. Yes, cuz my creative side feels paralyzed. I feel dazed.
P.S.S Sumedh i thought about many things to write but i couldn't elaborate it so i dropped the idea of posting something original :|
P.S.S.S. I'll be back soon :)