Nothing is everything when everything is nothing.

As i lay on my best,

Listening to post rock,

I stare at the ceiling,

Watching the blades of the fan,

turn in blurry circles.

I wonder to myself,

Who am i?

What do i want?

Why is that,

I seek something to just realize,

i've just waste endless days,

trying to fix things and make them stay.

Why can't i just let some people walk away?

It wasn't so hard for a person like me.

What have i become?

Why doesn't the stagnant hatred,

just find its way out of my life?

Why is everything so transitory?

so  short-lived?

I can endlessly crib my way out. And i dont know why am i finding pleasure in doing this. But this isn't me. I never wait for things to just happen or the wounds to just heal over a period of time. I am a seeker. I put an end to all my problems on my own. And now, after letting loose all that i once had, i am here, lying on my bed - looking back in time.Time is ticking, we're all close to what we call an end. And still none of us want to give up. This time i've decided to be one of you'll and wait to see what pleasure you'll derive out of making others feel like shit for a mistake which is not  theirs. A mistake which you TOO might be committing but you still you resort yourself to only blame the other person, ALWAYS! All  i dont get what is going wrong? And there exist people who dont even know you and still hate you giving you those looks as if you're a taboo.

Well if tabooed is what i am that be it!

I can very much live with it.

AND,

With this very persisting lump in my throat since days,

i hereby promise to stay out of your lives

if that is what you'll want.

You'll spilled me out of your lives.

Not that i haven't tried to concealing things.

I've given my shot and it's time.

I am done.

And,

I am blinded.

All the back-to-back-fights with everyone.

The You-piece-of-shit-look-the new prof's giving me.

All the hate that's accumulated.

EVERYTHING!

is just making me,

want to run to a place where-in,

all these things would have no meaning.

And i am making sure,

none of these are leading me to you'll.

P.S. -Be the change you want to see.

P.P.S. -I just want to hit my head against the wall just to see what breaks first the wall or my head. :)

*Plays 'A Deafening Distance' and goes out to see the pre-rainstorm*